Life is intriguing, always interesting, never quite what you think it's going to be. Some weekends are weekends of friends committing to a life together and some weekends are weekends of friends breaking up. And yet in all of this were do I fall? To much of a thinker and not enough of moving forward... even at one step at a time... even in possibly the wrong direction. Is it better to understand first or act first? Make sure of things or jump for it?

Thinking more about women.. (it's what us guys spend possibly way to much time doing). Do relationships strike you as starting out a bit one sided? Does it seem like the guy is supposed to initiate things... and understand things the best? If you are honest and say hey I'm interested in you are you interested in me.... It's treated as if you're asking them out. Yet, it's a simple question. Of course I understand this is a generalization... not all women are the same. And maybe I'm only seeing one extreme.

What about mutual relationships? No one side or the other trying harder to persuade the other person to like them or to stay. Instead a mutual understanding of I like you and want to spend this time we have together. A relationship were you aren't looking for something other then to be with that person. It doesn't matter to you if you are sleeping with that person as long as you see them happy and you get to share life with them for however long it lasts.. That is a beautiful relationship. You are interested in the person more then the benefits. I've seen some were they catch this for a short time and some where they catch it for a long time.... No matter the length though it seems better then the other type were it seems like they are continually swaying back and forth between being unbalanced on one side of the relationship or the other.

No I'm not giving up the idea of marriage for possible short term relationships. I'm finding out more and more depth to this word Love. The more I find out the more I'm amazed by it and the more I realize how utterly small our one word for Love is. There is no way to even come close to defining the depths and complexities of Love with just one word. Maybe this is why we fail so often at it? Obviously though there is something to this word we call love... No matter how often I try or how deep I'm hurt I can't stop trying to love or stop trying to be loved.